True story from a Novell NetWire SysOp:
Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty
period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
Tech: "I'm sorry, bt did you say a cup holder?"
Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
Tech: "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped. It's because I am. Did you
 receive this as part of a promotional, at a trade show? How did you get this
cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"
Caller: "It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a
promotional. It just has '4X' on it."
At this point the Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because he couldn't stand
it. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup
holder, and snapped it off the drive! 

Element: WOMEN
Symbol: Wo
Atomic Weight: 120 (more or less, usually more)
Physical Properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze
anytime. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if not used well.
Chemical Properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity to
gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Violent when left alone. Able to
absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to
a better specimen. Ages rapidly.
Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of
wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.
Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.
============================================
Element: MAN
Symbol: XY
Atomic Weight: 180+/-100
Physical Properties: Solid at room temperature but gets bent out of shape.
Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust,
aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young fresh
samples.
Chemical Properties: Attempts to bond with Wo any chance it can get. Also,
tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with
Kd (element Kid) for prolonged period of time. Pretty basic. Neutralize by
saturating with alcohol.
Usage: None really, except carrying shopping bags.
Caution: In the absence of Wo, this element rapidly decomposes and begins
to smell.

A nun gets into a cab in New York. She demurely says in a small, high voice,
"Could you please take me to Times Square?"
In a thick Brooklyn accent the cabbie initiates conversation, "He sista, that's
kinda a long drive? You mind if we, like, chat?"
"Why no, my son, whatever is on your mind?"
"About this celibacy thing. Are you telling me you never think about doin'it?"
"Why certainly, my son, the thought has crossed my mind a time or two. I am
of weak human flesh, you understand!"
"Well would ya ever consider, you know doin'it?"
The nun thinks a while
"Well, I suppose under certain conditions, in a very unique circumstance, I
might consider it."
"Well, what would dose conditions happen to be?"
"He'd have to be Catholic, unmarried and, well certainly he could have no
children."
"Sista, today is your lucky day. I'm all three. Why do youse come on up
here... I won't even make you really break your vows. All you gotta do is go
down on me."
The nun looks around... They are awfully far away from where anyone would
recognize her...at the next light she gets into the front with the driver. By the
next light, the nun is getting back into the rear of the cab, and the cabbie is
smiling form ear to ear. As she settles in, the nun hears the cabbie begin to
laugh. She inquires,
"Why, my son, what is so humerous?"
The cabbie sneers,
"Sista, I got ya. I'm Protestand, I'm married, and I got four kids."
And from the back of the cab comes the nun's low voiced response, "Yeah,
well, my name's Dave and I'm on my way to a costume party."